1942
by nancy nickerson
Summary: The world was turned upside down during WWII...here's how Nancy's life changed, too. T for later chapters. ch 7 FINALLY up!
1. Chapter 1

11942

Chapter 1

The Beginning

**A/N: **I know, I know, I'm so bad. I totally should be working on Secrets, and I am, but this idea has been buggin me for months, so I just had to write it. I also wanted to show a more serious side to me in my writing and I think this story may do it. But here's some background information: One day in American history class, we were watching a movie about the Civil War, so I thought it would be really cool to do a Nancy Drew story during a war. Since Nancy Drew first appeared in the 1930's, I decided to make it the war right after that, WWII. Also, in my 6th grade world history class, a WWII veteran, who was a POW and was MIA, came to talk to us and some of the events in this are based on what he told us– his story was just heart wrenching and you could tell he had a difficult time talking about it.. Italy, you probably remember this. But in this story, I'm really in my element, because WWII has always fascinated me, though more with the Holocaust aspect of it & what was going on in concentration camps & stories of people like Anne Frank. Also what was going on here while men fought. Anyhow, this was as close as I could get to those things w/out changing Nancy Drew entirely- like making her born in Germany & all. But I wanted to keep a lot of Nancy the same, while still making it a WWII story. Sorry, I'm rambling now, so I'll stop and I hope you enjoy it. I don't know if I'm gonna have the Hardys show up, but if you want them to, let me know.

The beginning starts kinda slow, but it'll pick up. R & R!

Disclaimer: None of the core characters are mine.

The year was 1942. Nearly a month earlier, on December 7, the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor and the U.S. had entered the war. People had become enraged by the attack and were now hanging up posters that read "Remember Pearl Harbor," and things of that type. President Roosevelt's speech in which he called December 7th a "date which will live in infamy," had already become famous throughout the country. Men from all over the U.S. were signing up to fight against the axis powers- mainly the Germans, Italians, and the Japanese.

But 18 year old Nancy Drew didn't worry about that. No, she had a comfortable life as a lawyer's daughter. Why, even during the Great Depression, she hadn't suffered, not nearly as much as other people. So to Nancy, this war was just a far off thing, a thing that she tried not to think about. Her father had considered going to fight for a while, but had decided against it, thinking that it would be best for him to stay there. After all, even during a war, there were still trials that went on. So Carson stayed, and Nancy didn't think much about it.

Until Ned told her he wanted to sign up.

19 year old Ned Nickerson was Nancy's favorite escort. You could even say he was her boyfriend, though Nancy's father preferred that he be called an 'escort.' The two had become close in the two years they had known each other and tonight they were out at a jazz club that had become popular in Chicago in the '20s.

"You're what?" Nancy asked in disbelief, a hint of fear in her voice. The four man band on the stage behind her kept up the steady beat to which people were dancing to. But Nancy and Ned, oblivious to it all, were sitting at a small table, having a private conversation while their friends danced.

"I'm thinking about enlisting." Ned repeated himself calmly, meeting Nancy's gaze head on.

"W-why?" Nancy asked.

"Because I think it's my duty to go and serve my country in the war, Nan. And not just against the Japanese, but against Hitler, too. I mean, when you think of all the people he's killing and sending to those awful camps...I just want to do my part, Nan.

"But- but Ned, people _die_ in wars. My great-grandfather died in the Civil War, my uncle died in the first world war, and I don't want you to," her voice trailed off and she looked down.

"Nan," Ned said, lifting her chin so she would meet his eyes. "I'm not saying it's final yet, but I wanted you to know I was thinking about it. When I know my decision, you'll be the first to know."

"But Ned, I don't want you to go! I want you to be here with me and I don't want to be off in Europe while I worry about you every second!"

"I know Nancy, I don't want to be away from you either, but remember, my decision isn't final yet."

"When will you make up you mind?"

"A month. I have a month to make up my mind."

Nancy smiled weakly. "Then let's make this month count."

It was the night before the month was up. Nancy and Ned had made the most of it, going to parties, taking long walks, going dancing, everything they could possibly think of to do. They were walking on a trail near Nancy's house when Ned spoke up. "I've decided to go."

Nancy caught her breath. "When do you leave?" Tears began welling up in her eyes, but Nancy wanted to be strong. For Ned's sake.

"Next week. I'll start my training in Hawaii and after that, it shouldn't be long before I go over to Europe."

Nancy didn't say a word, and the two of them walked back to the Drew home in silence. Once Ned had left, and she was safely in her room, she let the tears out.

_I've got to get there_, Nancy thought as she drove to the nearest airbase on the day Ned was scheduled to leave. The night before, she had sworn to herself that she would not there when he left, that she wouldn't put herself up to all that hurt. She wouldn't say good-bye to him, because if she said good-bye, it might really be good-bye, and she would never see him again. She had spent the whole last week avoiding his phone calls, telling Hannah to tell him she was out whenever he came over, and whenever she sw him in town, running in the other direction. No, she could not face him. Facing him would only hurt her- hurt both of them. But at the last minute, her resolve failed her. So now she was driving as fast as she could, praying that it wasn't too late, that he hadn't left yet and she could still tell him that she would miss him- and, for the first time, tell him that she loved him.

When she got to the airbase, she looked around in panic, trying to find him in the crowd of families hugging their men who were about to leave. Finally, she spotted him with his parents against the other wall.

"Ned!" she cried out, running toward him. At hearing his name, Ned turned around to see who it was and grinned when he saw it was her. She ran into his arms and he lifted her up and twirled her around, her skirt flaring out around her knees. "Oh, Ned, I was so afraid that I wouldn't get here in time, and that I wouldn't see you and wouldn't get to tell you-"

"Tell me what?" Ned prompted, setting her down while still keeping his arms around her. His parents had moved away a little bit, leaving them to their conversation.

"Tell you that-that I'm gonna miss you so so much and that. That I love you."

"You love me?" Nancy nodded and he smiled. "Well then I guess I love you too." He lifted her chin and kissed her tenderly. When he pulled back, there were tears in Nancy's eyes. "What is it? It can't be _so_ bad that I love you that it's making you cry," he teased.

Nancy shook her head. "I'm crying because- because I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I'll never see you again and that you'll die and I don't know what I would do without you Ned."

Seeing the look in her eyes made Ned's heart melt. "I don't know what I would do without you either," he whispered huskily. "Nancy," he gulped. "Will you promise to wait for me?"

"I promise," she said, without a moment's hesitation.

"I'm gonna come back Nancy. I promise. And I'm gonna write to you every day. And when I come back, I'm gonna love you and never leave you again. You hear me?"

"Yeah," Nancy kissed him again, this time longer than the first, until someone called out, "Hey Nickerson!"

Ned turned. It was one of the guys that he had befriended who was also going to Hawaii. "Be there in a minute!" he called to him. He turned back to Nancy. "I guess it's time for me to go."

"I guess." Nancy repeated dully.

"Remember what I promised you. And what you promised me. And remember I love you. Goodbye Nancy."

She shook her head. "I don't want say goodbye to you. Then it might really be goodbye."

"Then what do you want to say?" Ned asked curiously, arching his eyebrows.

"See you later."

Ned smiled. "See you later. I love you Nancy."

"I love you, too, Ned."

And then after giving her another quick kiss, he picked up his bag and left.


	2. Chapter 2

11942

Chapter 2

The Start of The Wait

**A/N: **Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter. I hope you enjoy this one as well! R & R!

Disclaimer: All core characters are not mine. Believe it.

Two weeks. Two weeks he had been gone and she had been missing him every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week.

She had had lunch with her closest friends, Bess and George the day after Ned left and told them everything he said.

"I can't believe he asked me to wait for him," Nancy confided to them.

"I can," George declared. "How you two didn't see it before, I don't know, but everyone else saw that you two were meant for each other."

"Yeah," Bess agreed. "You should see the way he looks at you when he thinks no one else is looking. I can't wait for him to get back so that we can start planning your wedding!"

Nancy sobered. "That may be a while. From what I've heard on the radio, things are getting worse every day. I can only hope he'll write soon so that I can be sure he's alright."

"He hasn't written you yet?" George asked.

"No. He promised to write every day, but I still haven't gone one letter."

"Well don't worry," Bess said, trying to lighten Nancy's mood. "Mail probably travels slow from Hawaii to Illinois. Maybe when you get home today, there will be a letter waiting for you."

And sure enough, when Nancy got home, there was a letter for her.

"Here Nancy," Hannah said, handing her a pile of letters. Nancy quickly leafed through them until she saw one addressed to her in Ned's handwriting, with his name on the return address. There was also a package for her from him. Nancy smiled, wondering what it could be.

She opened the letter carefully, being sure to not rip the letter inside, dated one week and five days ago, and started reading it slowly, to be sure she didn't miss a single word.

_February 17, 1942_

_My Dearest Nancy,_

_Things are going well here and I have arrived safely at Pearl Harbor. It really is beautiful here, despite the fact that some things were completely destroyed in the raid. I start my training tomorrow and I've already made friends with some of the guys I'll be in it with. The guy who called me when I was with you before we left is one of them. His name is Peter Smith and he's my roommate. He was actually born and raised in River Heights. Maybe your dad knows him or his parents. The guys are really great and you don't have to worry about any of the nurses because, even though they seem okay, none of them have captured my attention like you have._

_I already miss you. I've been gone two days and I miss you like crazy. I wish you could be here to share this place with me. Maybe after the war is over, you and I will come down here. Maybe after we're married. You haven't forgotten your promise yet, have you? Because I'm going to hold you to it, you can count on that._ _Not a second goes by when I don't think of you. I'm already hoping that the war is over soon so that I can come home to you_.

_If you recall, a few days before I left was Valentine's Day. I know we didn't really do anything-probably because I was packing and you-were you ignoring my phone calls? Because Hannah always said you were out. But anyhow, I bought you something right when I got in the first day, got it engraved, and sent it with the letter. I hope it's there by now. I hope you like it. No, I _know_ you'll love it. _

_Do you think- do you think you could send me a picture of you? I have one, but I'd like another- just in case. I just want to be able to see your smile, even when I'm not there. Ha, this is starting to sound like a love letter. Which I suppose it is, but normally when you think of love letters, you think of movies or plays or poetry- not real life. But I guess that's what war can do- make you do things you'd never imagined you would do._

_I miss you and I love you. Promise to write back as soon as you get this!_

_All my love,_

_Ned_

Nancy read the letter again, savoring every word, staring at his familiar handwriting and the connection to him, so far away. To think, just two weeks ago, they had never even told each other they loved each other and now this! After reading the letter again, she turned to the package and opened it. Inside was a beautiful oval gold locket, a little bigger than a thimble. On it were engraved her initials, _N.E.D._ Funny how her initials spelled out his name. She opened it and engraved on the inside were the words _Nancy and Ned- 1942_. Opposite that, on the other side of the locket, was a place where she could put a small picture. She smiled as she thought of the perfect picture of him she would put inside.

That night when Carson got home, Nancy commented at dinner, "I got a letter from Ned today."

"What did it say?"

"Just that he misses us and he's safely in Pearl Harbor. He started his training already and he wants to know if you know someone named Peter Smith."

"Yes, I believe I do. Why did he want to know?"

"No reason really. He's his roommate and he was raised in River Heights, so he just wanted to know if you knew him or his parents."

"I see. Well, Peter's a good kid, did good in school. His father's actually a lawyer, too. Not in criminal justice though, he mostly deals with contracts and that type of thing."

Nancy nodded and showed him the locket she was wearing around her neck. "He sent me this, too."

"That's very nice," Carson said after taking a closer look at it. When he saw Ned's picture and the engraving inside, he asked, "Nancy, I was wondering if anything happened between you and Ned at the airbase right before he left."

"What makes you think that?" Nancy asked, caught off her guard.

"You've just been acting different. If you don't want to tell me, that's find...you've just been kind of off in the clouds lately."

"Well, something _did_ happen," Nancy admitted. "He asked me to wait for him."

Carson smiled. Though he didn't act like it, he was happy Nancy had found a nice boy to date. Besides, he liked Ned. "I'm very happy for you, Nancy. Even though I make a fuss and insist you call him an escort, I like Ned. He's a very nice young man. Doing a good thing, too, serving his country."

Nancy blushed. "Thanks, Dad. Knowing you're okay with this means a lot to me."

Carson smiled and patted her head before going into the living room and turning on their radio to hear the latest news. Nancy, instead of listening to the news like she had been as of late, went up to her room to write a letter to Ned.

Two weeks later, Ned Nickerson was in the bunk room he shared with five other soldiers in training. The training was very fast-paced and some of the men who had only started two months before him were already heading off to Europe and Japan. Now he was tired after a long day and was hoping to get some shut eye before the next day. He was just about to get into bed when one of his roommates, Peter Smith, came in and said a letter had come for him. One look at the spiral handwriting and he knew it was from Nancy. "Thanks Pete," he called after him before opening the letter.

_February 29, 1942_

_My Dearest Ned,_

_I was relieved to hear that you arrived in Hawaii safely. After I had not gotten a letter after two weeks, I was starting to get worried. You were completely right- I loved the locket. It's beautiful, and I put the perfect picture of you in it. I also sent a picture of me with this letter. I hope you like it._

_Things are going well here. Hannah is twice as busy as usual. She's been deciding what she wants to plant in the victory garden she wants to plant. Dad is busy with all kinds of trials, so he hasn't been home much lately. Bess and George are well, too, and are trying to get my mind on other things so I won't worry about you._

_How is training? How long do you think it will be until you go to fight? Let me know where you will be as soon as you can so that we will never be out of touch._

_Before you talked of enlisting, I didn't have much interest in the war. Now I am trying to find out everything I can about it. You moved me to do that. Now I'm always listening to the news with Dad instead of just music on the radio. Now it seems that the war- and you- are all I can think of. Hoping that the war will not last long, hoping that you will come back to me soon. But I'm almost afraid to hope. In school we learned about the other wars and they dragged on for years. Those men probably had people they loved hoping the war would end soon also, but that didn't come true for them. I try to be optimistic, and I will be optimistic, but it is hard thinking that you may be away for even a year. It's been hard enough just these last two weeks._

_My father does know Peter Smith and his parents. His father is a lawyer, too. Not criminal defense though, he works with contracts and that sort of thing. I told him, by the way, that you asked me to wait. He said he was happy for me and that even though he acts aloof when you are around sometimes, he really does like you. I told Bess and George also. They can't wait for you to get back so that they can start to help me plan the wedding! _

_The wedding. How strange and new those words look to me. Do you find it hard to believe that, barely two weeks ago, we had never done so much as say we love each other and now we talk of marriage and a wedding._ _And you so far away, too. Have I told you yet that I miss you? I miss you and I love you and every day you have been away is torture._ _I pray that you will return safely to me soon. Write back A.S.A.P.!_

_All my love, _

_Nancy _

Ned smiled and reached into the envelope for the picture she had sent him. She was smiling brightly in it, and her strawberry blonde hair, though it looked dark in the black and white photo was in large curls going down the side of her face, the way many girls wore their hair now. The v-neck of the dress ended right below her collarbone. Ned remembered the dress well. It was royal blue, A-lined, and hit right below her knees, which had become more popular in the 30's because many families could not afford enough to make dresses full length anymore. She always looked beautiful in that dress. It brought out the color of her eyes and made her hair stand out against the dark tones. He stuck it in his notebook that he wrote letter to people in, promising himself that he would write to her the next day.

He went to bed with her image stuck in his mind.

The next morning, Ned woke up early. He had to go to breakfast and then off to Air Force training. He had received his pilot's license two years ago, when his parents had gotten enough money to pay for lessons. He had wanted to start earlier, but had been unable to because of the Great Depression. His families hadn't been one of the ones to lose everything, but hadn't been as fortunate as Nancy and her father either, who had barely lost a cent.

The man training Ned and his comrades was Commander J. E. Wright, who had served in the Great War, now being called World War I, years before. Training was basically being taught new maneuvers or how to handle an emergency situation, and then practicing it until you could do it perfectly. They weren't drilled as much as Ned had thought they would be, not that he was complaining. He was perfectly fine being in a small plane for a few hours, just thinking about doing the move right. It helped get his mind off things. Especially Nancy.

Thinking about Nancy hurt sometimes. Sure, he loved getting her letter so he could see her words again and looking at her picture, but thinking about her was hard sometimes. He remembered his promise to her- that he would return again and marry her. And if he did return, marrying her would be the first thing he did. But he was starting to worry that maybe something would go wrong and he wouldn't be able to go back to her. Being in training and finding out all the things that could possibly go wrong scared him. Not of the things that could go wrong, but what would happen to Nancy if something went wrong. He couldn't stand her being hurt. Not even a little.

And that was when he resolved that nothing would go wrong.

**A/N:** OMG, your reviews last chapter were amazing! Thank you all soooo sooo much! And I swear I'll update Secrets within the next week. R&R! XOXO


	3. Chapter 3

11942

chapter 3

Off to War

**A/N:** Bonjour, comment ca va? For those of you who don't speak French, that means Hello, how are you? Hm, French, I wonder what that could be a sign of for what will happen in this chapter...read it and find out! This chapter is mostly made up of short little scenes that kind of set up the next few chapters.

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Two months and six letters. Six letters that had declared Ned's undying love for her. Six letters telling her how things were going at training. Six letters that Nancy had practically memorized. Six letters that were very similar. But then the seventh letter came.

Nancy checked the mailbox every day, hoping that a letter from Ned would get there soon. The day she found the seventh letter, she ripped it open carefully, wanting even to preserve the envelopes his letters came in. Her heart was pounding wildly as she glanced over his familiar handwriting before she began to read.

_April 17, 1942_

_My dearest Nancy,_

_I am going off to war._

Her heart stopped. Six little words that changed her life. Deep down she knew that he would have to go eventually, but in her own little world, she had never thought it would happen. Now it was and she was going to have to learn to live with it. Nancy read the rest of the letter half-heartedly. In it, he told her he loved her like he had so many times before and gave her the address of where she could mail letters to him.

The day she got that seventh letter was the day Nancy Elizabeth Drew left her dream world and entered the real world.

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Hannah Gruen liked to cook. And that was precisely what she was doing when Nancy walked into the kitchen, tears in her eyes and a letter in her hand.

"Oh, Hannah," Nancy cried, entering the woman's embrace. "He's gone off to war and if I thought I was afraid for him before, I am even more scared for him now."

"Shh," Hannah replied soothingly. "It'll be okay. Ned's tough. He can do this. You just need to stay strong for him and pray for him."

"Oh, but Hannah, I'm just so afraid for him. I- I think about him all the time and now I'll just think of him more and-"

"Shh, Nancy, I know. I know. The man I loved- when I was younger- he went off to fight in the Great War. I thought about him every day and I was scared for him."

Nancy looked up. "What happened to him?"

"Well, he came home and we met up again and we were going to be married but then-"

"But what?"

Hannah smiled. "That, my dear, is a story for another time. Now I think you need something to get your mind off things. It's such a beautiful day out and I was going to start working on my Victory Garden and I could use some help. How about it?"

Nancy smiled slightly and followed her out to the garden.

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"The _what_?"

"The WAVES. They help the Navy in the war," George explained calmly to Bess.

"So...you're going to join them?" Nancy asked.

"That's right."

"And you'll be away at war?" Bess asked.

"Uh huh."

Nancy looked away. First Ned and now George. She wasn't prepared for this. She was prepared for all of her friends to go away. Only a few hours ago she had received the news that Ned was going to war. Now George was, too. Pretty soon she would have no one left.

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Nancy had no idea of how close to being right she had been. The very next day, she received another letter, telling her of another person who had gone off to war.

_April 20, 1942_

_Dear Nancy,_

_Hello, how are you. It seems like ages since I talked to you last. I am busy as always, even more so now. I only have a few more months of school left before I will graduate. It almost seems selfish to graduate with- oh, I haven't told you about that yet._

_Well Frank's gone off to war. He went a couple months ago to join the Air Force. I hear that Ned has gone away, too. Bess wrote me not too long ago and told me Ned left around the same time Frank did. I wish I could go, too, but Dad says not until I'm 18. But anyhow, Frank writes us frequently about everything that goes on in training. He says its pretty tough out there, but he'll manage. His last letter told us that he was really going off to war- to France, actually._

_Has Ned gone to war yet? Where will he be stationed? Tell him that Mom, Dad, Aunt Gertrude, and I wish him the best._

_How are you holding up? I know you and Ned were very close and I was just wondering how you are doing. Luckily Bess and George are there to support you, right? Write soon, it will be nice to hear from you again._

_Sincerely,_

_Joe Hardy_

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_April 26, 1942_

_Dear Joe,_

_It was delightful to hear from you! It certainly has been a while. I had actually been thinking about going to Bayport not long before the attack on Pearl Harbor, but then Ned went away and I hate leaving home in case he might send a letter. _

_I was very sorry to hear that Frank had also gone off to war. Ned told me in his last letter that he was going to France soon, too. They probably left around the same time I guess. Ned is also in the Air Force. I know they will both be okay- they're both tough._

_I don't think it's at all selfish of you to be thinking about graduation with the war going on, Joe. It's a very special time for you and don't let talk of the war get you down on your big day. I suppose I am holding up alright. Everyone is being very supportive, but George is going to join the WAVES. She leaves next week. Give my best wishes to your family and tell Frank I will pray for him._

_Sincerely,_

_Nancy Drew_

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_April 26, 1942_

_My Dearest Ned,_

_You are going off to war. I have known you would for the longest time, yet the words still seem foreign to me. It is still so strange to think of you being so far away and experiencing new things while I am still here in River Heights doing the same things I always did- only without you._

_I received a letter from Joe Hardy that said Frank had also gone to war. He joined the Air Force and left for France around the same time you did, I think. That would be such a coincidence if you two ran into each other while there. George has joined the WAVES. She leaves next week and I am terribly worried for her. I am terribly worried for everyone who is going away. The whole idea just scares me. I know that people think I am brave, facing those criminals, but not as brave as you three are. I could never be so brave as to go away to war._

_How is France? I wonder if you are lonely. Probably not, you were always very good at making friends. You have probably befriended half the U.S. servicemen already!_

_Not much is going on here. More and more young men around here are going off to war. Practically the only ones left are the ones who are not old enough, have some sort of physical disability, or those whose fathers won't let them go until they're 18. That's what Mr Hardy is doing. Joe wants to go fight, but his dad says he must wait until he's 18. Write back soon, I'm anxious to know what France is like?_

_All my love,_

_Nancy _

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Right at that moment, miles and miles away, Ned, too, found out that Frank had joined the Air Force and was in France.

"Ned?" he heard a familiar voice ask behind him. He turned to see the owner and there he saw Frank Hardy.

"Frank Hardy?" he asked, stretching out his hand. "You- enlisted?"

Frank nodded. "That's why I'm here."

Ned nodded absently. He didn't know Frank Hardy that well, just that he lived in Bayport and was one of Nancy's friends. He pretty much liked him- he hadn't done anything to make him not like him.

"So- how's everything?" Frank asked.

"You know. Drills, being ready to fight at a moment's notice. How about you?"

"Same. How's Nancy? You write her a lot?"

"Every chance I get. We have sort of- an understanding to get married as soon as I get home."

"Really?" Frank asked, eyebrows raised. "Well, congratulations then."

Ned smiled. "Thanks." He seemed about to continue when Peter came over and handed him a letter.

"From your parents, I think, from the return address," he said before going back to the barracks.

Just then a whistle blew. "I'd better get going," Frank explained. "Nice seeing you though."

"Nice seeing you, too, Frank," he said before he ran off. He opened his letter. Normally his parents wrote about how much they worried about him. Parent stuff. But this letter was different. Much different.

_April 17, 1942_

_Dear Ned,_

_We saw Nancy today. She seemed- distraught. She looks like she hasn't slept in a while and we are worried about her. Apparently Hannah Gruen is, too. She told us that Nancy often times cries herself to sleep. I don't want to worry you, but I just thought you should know, considering._

Ned stopped reading. Now he was really worried about Nancy. His going off to war was seriously affecting her- more than he had thought. Maybe he should write to Bess and George and get them to cheer her up a little. Something needed to be-

"All men to the mess hall immediately!" a voice cried out over the loadspeaker, interrupting his thought. Ned sighed and ran to see what it could be.


	4. Chapter 4

11942

chapter 4

The Forties

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A month later and back in the States, Nancy was helping Mrs. Nickerson make a classic WWII dinner of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and canned green beans. That was about all you could make for a dinner with the rationing points nowadays. The Nickersons, like the Drews, had a Victory Garden, and that helped a lot, but they needed to make their points stretch, and couldn't buy things like steak anymore.

As the two women were listening to the Andrews sisters sing "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy," Mr. Nickerson walked in the door. "Hello, dear," Mrs. Nickerson greeted him with a smile. She headed over to him but paused when she saw the expression on his face. "What is it?"

"Larry Monroe's boy, Patrick, was killed the other week in an air raid attack off the coast off France. Patrick's wife, Susan, came by today to give me the obituary."

"Oh, that's awful," Mrs. Nickerson cried. "Oh, they were wed right before Patrick went off to war, weren't they?"

Mr. Nickerson nodded solemnly. "It really is such a shame." He continued telling his wife about his day but Nancy had stopped hearing him after he related the news about Patrick. _Patrick. Dead, _she thought as the tears began running down her face. She ran a hand through her strawberry blonde curls. Why, she and Patrick had grown up together and played together as kids! _What if_- and here was a thought she hated. _What if that happens to Ned?_

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The holidays came and went. Thanksgiving was weird for everyone, considering that they needed to make a whole feast with the little food their rationing points earned them. Hannah had been saving some for the past month to try to give the Drews and their guests a dinner that they were used to. Yet, it was not what they were used to. Instead of a huge Thanksgiving turkey, they had a huge Thanksgiving meatloaf. Nancy knew that she had so much to be thankful for- after all, Ned was still alive. But she couldn't bring herself to feel that way. She couldn't celebrate when she knew men were out there dying and the thought that Ned might be next. She hated feeling that way, but she couldn't help it.

"You just need to be glad that your man is still alive," Susan, Patrick's wife, told her one day. "At least you can still write to him and talk to him and tell him everything. The only thing I got to talk to is a gravestone."

Nancy tried to remember Susan's words, but as Christmas time drew closer, it just got harder and harder. She had mailed Ned a box of homemade cookies that she had baked herself and he sent her an extra long letter and a bracelet he had bought in Hawaii, but it wasn't the same. She tried to be strong, but Christmas Eve found her sobbing in her room. Carson, hearing the cries as he walked by her room, went in to check on her.

"Nancy, baby, what is it?" he asked gently, rubbing her back.

"Daddy, I just don't know what to do. I miss him so much," she confessed, crying into his shoulder now. "I told myself that during the holidays I would be happy and be thankful Ned is alive, but I _can't_ be happy. I can't be happy when Ned's not here, he's over there, fighting in a war where he could get killed any time. And if that happens, I- I just won't know what to do!"

"Nancy, sweetie, I know how you feel. You know that your mother was sick in the hospital for almost a whole year before she passed away and the holidays were the hardest for me. I couldn't be happy when she was in the hospital. I visited her on Christmas, of course, and tried as hard as I could to make the time special for her, but she was hurting. And I had you with me and I didn't want you to have to be at the hospital all of Christmas day and had to leave your mother by herself and I felt awful. I put on a show for you and acted like everything was the same, but it wasn't. We _all_ know that this Christmas isn't the same- for anyone. And what we need to do is realize that, not pretend like everything's the same. Just remember that I'm here for you, whenever you need a shoulder to cry on."

Nancy looked up at him, eyes sparkling from the tears. "I love you so much, Daddy."

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

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For some people, life wasn't much different. Sure, almost everyone knew _someone_ away at war, but unless they were especially close, maybe it didn't affect you as much. Kids were still listening to the Andrews sisters sing "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" and "Don't Sit Under The Apple Tree." They listened to Frank Sinatra, Glenn Miller, and Bing Crosby and had the words memorized to songs like "White Christmas," "Coming In On a Wing and a Prayer," "This is the Army, Mr. Jones," "Accentuate the Positive," and "I'll Be Seeing You." They went to the movies to see "Casablanca" and "Holiday Inn" with Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire. Of course they participated in fundraisers at school such as collecting bottle tops and making blankets and socks. Of course they helped their parents with their Victory Garden and saw the posters that said "Uncle Sam Wants You!" Of course they learned about the war in school. But did their lives really change? I honestly don't know the answer to that question but I do know this: the life of Nancy Elizabeth Drew changed drastically one day about a year after Ned had left.

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_Off we go into the wild blue yonder, Climbing high into the sun;_

_Here they come, zooming to meet our thunder,_

_At 'em boys, give 'er the gun!_

_Down we dive, spouting our flame from under, Off on one heck of a course!_

_We live in fame or go down in flame,_

_Hey, nothing'll stop the U.S. Air Force!_

The men in Ned's air base usually sang the U.S. Air Force song with more spirit, but today something was different. They sang the song half-heartedly and there was a note of fear in some of their voices. Today they were going on one of the most dangerous missions since they had gotten there and they were all on pins and needles. Ned was one of the ones going on that mission and he had to admit that even he was a little anxious as he sat reading Nancy's last letter for what seemed like the millionth time. He had written back already and mailed it earlier that morning, but now, before he left on this mission, he felt the urge to read it once again.

_February 3, 1943_

_My Dearest Ned,_

_Do you realize it has been exactly one year since you left to go to war? I can barely believe I made it this far. I remember when you had only been gone two weeks and those two weeks seemed like an eternity to me. But those two weeks seem like nothing compared to the year you have been gone. I cannot wait for you to come home so that I can finally stop worrying!_

_I received a letter from Frank Hardy the other day and he said that you seemed anxious about something. What is it?_

_I have been meaning to tell you this for the longest time now, but it seems that every time I write you I keep forgetting about it. Patrick Monroe was killed last April. I don't know if your parents already told you or what, but I know you two were good friends and I just thought you should know..._

_The usual is going on here. Bess and I saw Casablanca for the hundredth time yesterday. She really does love that movie. She started volunteering at the Red Cross last month and seems to really enjoy talking to the men who come here to recover...but you know how Bess is! She actually got me into it, too. When I'm not busy at Dad's office, I try to spend a few hours there and it really does make me feel good. It also helps to take my mind off things. George wrote me last week and things are fine with her, no major problems. I don't think I could ever do what she does. She says she's very busy, but I suppose you know how it is._

_I'm working ono a new case. There was a robbery at the Bank of Chicago: River Heights and the manager, Mr. Kapelle, asked me to look into it for him. I just find it so hard to believe that people would be robbing banks when the world is in such turmoil. Unfortunately, its true. Not just robbing banks, shooting each other, robbing houses, fraud- it's insane! People are shooting each other over what they think should be done to the Germans and I think its awful. Instead of fighting with each other, they should work toward helping our soldiers. People need to be united now, not against each other._

_But on a happier note, my cousin Caroline had a baby girl! Her husband, Jim, has been away for 3 months so I've been helping her around the house. She has the most adorable smile and really is a precious little girl._

_Well, I've got to go, Aunt Eloise is coming into town today, and I've got to go to the train station to go get her. Write again soon!_

_All my love, _

_Nancy_

Ned took one last glance at her signature on the bottom before folding the letter and sticking it into his shirt so that it would be near him. It always helped him to have a little piece of her near him and it helped him to be strong- for her.

"Ned, you coming?" Frank Hardy popped his head into Ned's barracks and motioned for him to come on.

"Yeah." It was actually a little weird. He and Frank had been-well, not sworn enemies, but pretty close to it- before the wars and now they had grown used to each other. One couldn't exactly call them friends but they had a respect for each other they hadn't had before. Working so closely for one year had done that to them and they had to learn early on to put their differences aside. And today they were trusting each other with their lives.

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Three hours later, about 10 men were sitting in a plane flying over enemy lines. Frank Hardy just stared ahead of him while the pilot skillfully maneuvered the plane across the windy skies. None of the men were talking, too focused on what they were about to do. The plan was simple, really, but vague. They were going to drop onto a building and kidnap one of the men inside. What the man's name was, they weren't certain, but they had seen his picture and could identify him easily. This particular building apparently wasn't very well guarded, or so their commander told them. And there was only one way to really find out...Frank's train of thought was interrupted when one of the men from England cried out "It's those blasted Nazis!"

Next thing the 10 men knew they were being fired at from all sides and none of them seemed to know what to do, until Ned took charge. "Everyone get your parachutes and get off the plane!" While the first eight men jumped out, Ned took Frank aside. "Frank, if I- if I don't make it, tell Nancy- tell Nancy that I love her and that I'm sorry. Tell her to take care of herself and to stay strong. And would you-" he reached into his shirt and pulled out a piece of paper. "Give her this for me." Ned handed the paper to Frank.

Frank shook his head vehemently. "Ned, you're gonna make it." He handed the folded up paper back to Ned. "Give it to her yourself."

"Frank, please, just take it and go!" Ned cried, seeing that the last man had already jumped out. He shoved the paper back into Frank's hands.

You first!" he had to scream over the whirring. He couldn't let Ned stay in the plane by himself. And Nancy- Ned had to get home to Nancy. He couldn't just let him die like that. Now the shots were hitting the plane like crazy and from the thousands of bullet holes in the metal, it didn't seem like it would be long until the plane either blew up or crashed.

"Frank, go! Please just give it to Nancy! Jump!" With that, Ned pushed him out of the plane.

Frank's parachute caught before he knew it and a second later, he looked up to see if Ned was coming down. He looked up but didn't see the dark green parachute anywhere. And then the plane blew up.

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**A/N:** Thank you all for your reviews, I'm sorry I haven't updated, but it's summer vacation and you know how it is! I plan on updating Secrets asap too!


	5. Chapter 5

11942

chapter 5

MIA

Disclaimer: Not mine. Boo hoo. Tear tear. I'm crying it's so sad.

_Italics are thoughts_

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That Tuesday night, the doorbell rang to the Nickersons' house. Nancy, who came to dinner every Tuesday night, opened the door.

"May I help you?" she asked the two men, eyeing their black, official-looking suits.

One of the men pulled out a badge from his suit. "I'm Agent Fields and this is Agent Richardson. We'd like to speak to Mr. and Mrs. Nickerson."

"Sure," Nancy said, opening the door wider. She looked at them curiously as they walked in, wondering what it could be that they wanted. "This is Agent Fields and Agent Richardson," Nancy introduced them to the Nickersons.

"James Nickerson," Ned's dad said, offering his hand to each of the men. "And this is my wife, Edith. And that young lady is Nancy Drew." Edith quickly dried her hands off on a dishtowel before shaking the men's hands. "Now what can I do for you?"

"Mr. Nickerson, we'd like to speak to you and your wife privately, please." Agent Richardson said in a no-nonsense tone.

"You can say whatever you need to say in front of Nancy," he said. When Agent Fields nodded his approval, James asked curiously. "Now what's this all about?"

"Why don't we all have a seat," Agent Fields suggested, motioning to the living room.

"An excellent idea," Mrs. Nickerson agreed, leading the way. After the other four had gone in, Nancy followed cautiously, wondering if this was really anything that concerned her. "Come on, Nancy!" Edith called. Nancy shrugged and did as she told.

Once they were all seated comfortably, Agent Richardson broke the news. "Mr. and Mrs. Nickerson, I'm very sorry to tell you that your son has gone missing."

Edith's face went white as snow. She grabbed her husband's hand and choked out, "Missing?"

"But how?" James asked, his face creased with worry.

"He was in a plane with nine other men on their way to a mission in Germany. The plane was attacked and all the other men got out safely except Ned. From what they've told us, he was quite the hero–made sure everyone got out safely." Agent Fields explained.

"So–so you mean he's dead?" James asked, a shocked look on his face.

"He may very well be," Agent Richardson admitted. "But no body was found, so we're ruling his as missing until further evidence comes out."

Nancy had been sitting quietly, shocked and unable to say anything. But now she let out a sob and ran out of the room and out the front door.

"I'd better go get her," James declared, standing up.

"No, James," Edith said forcefully, putting a hand on her husband's elbow. " Let her be. She needs to take all of this in. Nancy and Ned were going to be married when he came back,"she explained.

Agent Fields shook his head sadly. "We're very, very sorry. We will do everything humanly possible to find him. We won't keep you any longer," he said, standing up and shaking the couple's hands. Agent Richardson followed his lead, telling the Nickersons he was very sorry. Edith walked them to the door and watched their black government car leave. And when they were gone, she turned into her husband's arms and cried.

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When Nancy left the Nickersons' home, she didn't get into her car. Instead she started walking down the street in the direction of her own home, lost in thought as tears rolled down her face. _It wasn't supposed to be like this,_ she thought. _He promised me! He promised me he would come home, that this wasn't goodbye, that we would never say goodbye. He was supposed to come home and we were supposed to get married and have a life together and have children. He wasn't supposed to die! But maybe he's not dead-that's it. He got out of the plane and is just hurt and can't get to the base. I'm sure someone found him and is helping him get better and finding out where he's supposed to be. Yes, that's it. He's just missing, like they said. But you can be missing and still be safe. Yeah, he'll come back. He'll recover and go back to his base and then they'll let him come home. He'll come home and we'll get married and he'll never go away to war again. Stupid war. If only he hadn't gone! If he hadn't gone, he would be home safe right now. Not missing. I knew this would happen. I knew that something would happen to him if he left. I should've- I should've tried harder to get him not to go but he wouldn't listen! Now what if I never see him again? No, I can't let myself think that. He _will_ come back, he will come back, he will come back, HE WILL COME BACK! He will come back and he'll tell me what happened and it will just be a huge misunderstanding. He'll come back and then I won't have to worry anymore and neither will his folks. _Without having realized it, Nancy had walked all the way back to her house, leaving her car at the Nickersons'. _Oh well. I'll get Hannah to swing me by there tomorrow so I can pick it up._ She let herself into the house and saw a pile of mail sitting on the kitchen table. She picked it up and thumbed through it quickly, but halted when she saw two letters addressed to her. Her heart skipped a beat when she recognized Ned's handwriting on one of them. She ripped it open and took out the letter as more tears came to her eyes.

_February 10, 1943_

_My Dearest Nancy,_

_Yes, my parents told me about Patrick and that is just terrible. I know you were very close to him and Susan as children. He was a great guy and he and I became close at Emerson. Emerson. That seems like a lifetime ago but it's really only been a year._

_One year. I agree with you. Those first two weeks away from you seemed like an eternity to me but now they seem like nothing compared to the year I have been away from you. I just can't wait to come home and see your beautiful face again. I keep a picture of you tacked to my bed so that I can look at you while I'm trying to go to sleep, but it's not the same as being right there with you. I wish I could be there right now so I could reach out and touch your curls and let you know that everything will be alright, but I know that can't happen. I don't even know when I will be able to. It seems like this war has no end in sight. Our commanders are always very positive and we all try to stay positive, but it's hard sometimes._

_What Frank was telling you about was a mission we're going on tomorrow. It's one of the more risky ones, so I'm worried about it. I can't really tell you about it in the mail, but it's going to be me along with nine other guys- and Frank is one of them. I can tell he's worried about it, too. To tell the truth, all of us are worried. Something could go wrong and- nothing's going to go wrong. I'll come back to the base tonight and everything will be fine, all the worrying will have been for nothing. And when I get back here, I'll write you again to tell you we've gotten back safely and to tell you how much I love you and how you keep me fighting. _

_Whenever it seems like something's going wrong, that something might happen to me, I think of you. You really are keeping me alive over here. I think of you and how I can't just leave you and how I promised you it wouldn't be goodbye and how I will never leave you. I think of that promise and I know I can't break it. I could never break that promise to you- or to myself either. You are the reason I'm fighting in this war, and you are the reason I'm still alive. I just love you so much and I can't wait to come home to you and be married to you._

_I've got to get some sleep, the bugler announced it's time for lights out._

_I love you._

_All my love,_

_Ned_

Now the tears were flowing heavier down Nancy's face. She backed up against a wall and slid down to the floor, tilting her head back against the wall. She looked back at Ned's letter and then saw the other letter she had dropped on the floor. It was addressed from Frank Hardy and though Nancy didn't really feel like reading it, she did anyway.

_February 11, 1943_

_Dear Nancy,_

_I just got back from a mission with Ned. By now you've probably heard the news. I was the last one in the plane with him and I should've gotten him to go first! I should've pushed him out before me and then you wouldn't be going through this. I'm so sorry Nancy. I feel like it's my fault. But right before I jumped out, he told me to tell you to be strong for him and to take care of yourself. He also said to tell you he_'_s so sorry and that he loves you. He also gave me a letter to give you, which I'm putting in the envelope with this one._

_And also- could you please write Callie for me? I hate asking you this, especially after what happened- but for some reason my mail isn't getting to her. And you know how she and Joe don't get along. So could you please just do this for me? Tell her I love her and I'm going to be with her again soon._

_I'm so sorry Nancy. Be strong. For Ned._

_Yours truly,_

_Frank Hardy_

_My Dearest Nancy,_

_If you are reading this, it means something has happened to me. I know, I know, I promised nothing would, but I had to write this. Just in case. _

_I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I abandoned you like this. I swear I didn't mean to. It- it wasn't supposed to be like this. We're supposed to get married. But now...I'm so sorry, Nancy. You know I love you and I want you to be happy. I hate that this has to happen to you. I hate that I'm not there for you anymore. I just love you so much and now I can never be with you. Dear God–Nancy, I love you so much and I miss you and I can't imagine what this is like for you, reading this letter._

_But I need you to be strong. If I'm not- gone, and I'm really just missing, I need you to be strong for me so that I can get back to you. I need you to believe that I will come back if I'm missing. I need you to love me, but I need you to be happy for me, too. I don't want you to spend forever crying. I want you to move on with your life and be the strong, intelligent woman we both know you are. And remember- all my love is yours. All the love I could ever give in this world is yours. Remember me Nancy. Remember me and remember that I love you._

_All my love,_

_Ned_

"Nancy?" Mr. Drew had walked in the door to find his daughter sitting on the kitchen floor, three letters in her hand. "Nancy, baby what's wrong?"

"Ned," she managed to get out. "Ned- he-" she couldn't get any more out through the tears, so Carson called the Nickerson home.

"Hello, James, I just got home and Nancy's here and she said something about Ned...Oh really?...God, James, I'm so sorry. Tell Edith that for me, too...Are they sure?...But I thought you said they said he was missing...Oh, I see...They called you again already?...But they didn't find the body...They said there was no possible way?...So he's...God, James, that's awful...Nancy's car?...Yes, I'll swing by to get it sometime tomorrow, but I think she needs me right now...Okay, well goodbye...And James?...I'm so sorry." Carson hung up the phone then reached down to take Nancy in his arms. The tears were springing into his eyes now, too. "Nancy, baby, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," he said, rocking her gently. "But Ned is still here with you. As long as you live, he'll also live in your heart."

"But Daddy–he's not dead."

"Nancy, sweetheart, the agents called the Nickersons back. They said there was no way he could have survived."

"No, he's alive! He has to be–I can feel it, I know he is!"

"Nancy, look at me," Carson commanded, taking her shoulders and making Nancy face him. After a long moment, she finally brought her eyes up to him, and he continued. "Nancy, Ned is _gone_. You need to accept that. It's what he would have wanted you to do."

"HE'S NOT DEAD!" Nancy screamed at him, pushing him away. She ran to her room and slammed the door, her tears falling even harder now.

And Carson let her be.

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Ned Nickerson, in fact, was not dead. He had jumped out of the plane on time, only to get caught on the branches of a tree. When he came to, he immediately set to work on getting himself out of there. After half an hour of fierce work, powered by Ned's determination, he got himself out, only to find there were three German farmers staring at him. They were speaking to each other in German, a language Ned did not know and pointing to him. "American," he recognized one of the words. Damn. Who knew if they would let him go or turn him in? It seemed to Ned that they were going to turn him in. He stood up to run away, but one of the farmers, a big, burly guy, grabbed him and held him. They spoke to each other some more before leading him to a wagon filled with hay. "Wait," Ned said in English. "If you can understand me, please let me go! I- I won't cause any trouble for you, I just wanna get home!"

Apparently one of the farmers spoke some English. "Shut up you American. We take you to Nazi headquarters. They decide what to do with you."

"But-" Ned was cut short when the man holding him knocked him out.

Hours later, Ned came to. He was sitting in a prison cell on a tiny bed. "Where am I?" he muttered to himself. He slowly got up and made his way to the bars and shook them a few times.

"I see you are awake." A soldier, wearing the Nazi uniform came and unlocked the door, taking Ned's arm roughly to lead him down a hallway. The floors were made of stone and Ned's feet were cold as he unlocked another door and threw him in. There were three Nazi guards standing around the room, against the walls. Two other men, dressed similarly in more adorned Nazi uniforms were sitting at a small table.

"Sit," one said, motioning to the third chair. When Ned was seated, the other one said something in German, which the one who had spoken English translated.

"What is your name?"

"I'm sorry, sir, I cannot tell you that."

"I said, _what is your name_?"

"And I said I cannot answer you."

The first man said something to the man that spoke only German. He responded something, spitting out the words.

"Let me make this real clear for you. You answer and we won't torture you. Don't answer, and we will let Fritz over there teach you a lesson."

"I'm sorry, but I've promised to tell nothing."

"Stupid boy. We already knew your name and your rank, Private Ned Nickerson. Fritz," he motioned towards Ned. "Box his ears."

Ned looked back in fear at Fritz as he made his way over to the table. He barely prepared himself for the blows when the big guy began hitting him. When it was over, there was an unbelievable ache in his head. His ears were pounding and the hurt so bad, but the questioning went on.

"Now that you've met Fritz, maybe you can answer some questions. Who is your commander?"

Ned shook his head 'no.'

"Where are you stationed?"

Once again, Ned shook his head.

"Where were you headed to?"

"Who were you planning to harm?"

"Are there any more schemes your commander has up his sleeve?"

Each and every time, Ned shook his head emphatically.

"Listen, kid. We found a picture of a girl when we searched you." He reached into a folder and rummaged through it. Ned thought he saw his dog tags in there and then felt inside his shirt. They were gone. "This one." The man had pulled out the picture of Nancy that Ned kept with him. "Now I'm sure this is your girlfriend, wife, fiancee, whatever. And I'm sure she wants you home. Now, son, answer the questions, and you can get home to her that much sooner."

"That's bull!" Ned screamed, clenching his fists. "You're not going to let me go home! You're going to keep me here- or send me somewhere worse, or kill me- whether I answer the questions or not! And I _will not_ compromise my integrity by telling you what the Air Force is doing! I _will never_ tell you! I _will not_ betray my country like that! And even if I _wanted_ to, you and I _both_ know you wouldn't let me leave!"

"Listen, kid, I'm giving you one last chance. _Who_ is your commander? _Where_ were you stationed? _Where _were you headed? _Who_ were you planning to harm? _Are_ there any more schemes being planned?" Ned kept silent and didn't even shake his head.

"No answers, eh?" When Ned still didn't respond, he turned to Fritz again. "Lock him in his cell, wrist and ankle chains. Beat him. Don't give him any food for three days. Then we'll see if he answers us."

Fritz did as he was told and took Ned back to the cell the first soldier had let him out of. He put his wrists in heavy shackles and locked them before putting on the ones that went around the ankles. And then he drew his arm back and his fist collided with his face. He pulled it back again and hit him again. And again. And again. And again. How many times he did it, Ned didn't know. He had been seeing stars after the fourth punch and was now on the verge of unconsciousness. He was probably bruised and had two black eyes that hurt like hell, but that wasn't the worst part.

The worst part was that he couldn't fight back.

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**A/N:** Awwww, I feel so bad doing that to Ned.** _I _**evenwanted to cry as I wrote that chapter! R&R. By the way, what happens to Ned while he's in captivity in based on the real life story of a man who came to talk to my class when I was in 6th grade. I think I may have mentioned that in my introduction, but I just wanted to say that again. I also threw in some stuff that happened to some other POWs I've met through school (yeah, the school I went to was big on WWII and the Forties and honoring all veterans–as all schools should) This story is in honor of him, and all the POWS of all wars, not just WWII.


	6. Chapter 6

11942

Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry for the long delay. I had a major case of writer's block, plus I've been totally busy with school. I also apologize for the delay in Secrets, but that will be out as soon as I figure out what's going to happen, lol.

Disclaimer: They're not mine, but are you willing to sell them to me?

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His eyes. As Nancy lie on her bed, looking at a framed photo of Ned, she realized that she missed his eyes the most. The way they told her everything he felt, the warmth in them when he looked at her. She ran her fingers lightly over the glass and whispered, "Oh Ned, I know you're alive, I can feel it. Everyone is so convinced that you're gone, but I know you're not. Your parents- how can they believe it? How can they believe that you're gone and just give up on you? How can they believe it, just like that? How can _anyone_ believe it? I won't do that to you Ned, not ever. Ever. I will pray for you everyday and you will come back to me. You'll come back to me and prove everyone wrong. I hate feeling this way, especially toward your parents, but _how can they just give up on you?_ I know, in my heart, that they want to be wrong, that they want you to be alive, but how do they just accept it?"

Tears stinging her eyes, Nancy put the picture down on the night stand by her bed and picked up a large stack of letters Ned had written her in the past year. She leafed through them quickly before she began to read each and every one. After she had received three letters, each so precious to her, she had tied a yellow ribbon around them and tucked them securely away in a secret drawer in her night stand. She'd probably reread them dozens and dozens of times, but this time was different. The letters, with her tears blotting the ink in places, crinkled under her fingers as she became completely engrossed in the letters, in a way she never had before, remembering how she felt the very first time she read them and imagining him as he wrote them. She laughed at little things he said, little inside jokes between just the two of them. She cried at mentions of marriage and the memory of their first kiss, the first time they admitted their love for one another and the day that he left.

Nancy could not stop herself from reading, even as Carson and Hannah called goodnight to her, telling her to get some rest. When she finished reading his last letter, horrible, yet filled with love, with his request to try to be happy and build a life without him if she had to, but pleading with her to not give up on him and to give him a way to get back home, she looked out her window and saw the moon. She knew, in her heavy heart, that sometime soon, Ned would be looking out at that same moon.

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The moon. Ned wished that he was able to see the moon. Ever since his capture, Ned wanted to be able to see the moon. Or anything outside of this dark building for that matter. Granted, it had been less than 24 hours since the awful questioning, but it felt like an eternity.

He was in so much pain. Inside his head, he was still seeing stars, stars, and more stars. Ironic, how he wanted to see the moon, but could only see stars. But stars were what clouded his vision and he felt like giving up but he knew he couldn't. For Nancy's sake. Nancy was counting on him, Nancy believed in him.

But he also knew he hadn't experienced the worst pain yet. There would still be so much more to come, but he couldn't give up. The moon. He thought of seeing the moon with Nancy again, if only once more.

And that was the young man's last thought before he drifted back into the darkness.

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The next day, Bess showed up at Nancy's house bright and early. "Good morning, Mr. Drew," she chirped, unaware of the news about Ned. "Is Nancy here? We have to get over to the Red Cross soon."

"Yes, Bess she is. But I'm not sure if she'll be going in today." He explained to her about Ned's death and ended with, "Nancy isn't taking the news too well."

"He's not dead," Nancy insisted, coming down in time to hear her father talking to Bess. Though the tone of her voice was positive, her eyes gave away the fact that she had been up late crying. "Come on Bess, let's go."

"Nancy," Carson interrupted. "You _need_ to listen to me. Ned is dead, he's not coming back."

Nancy looked at him, her face hard as stone, but her eyes, shining with tears, gave away her true emotions. "He promised me it wasn't goodbye! He's coming back." With that, Nancy exited the house and went to wait by Bess' car.

"Listen Bess," Carson sighed. "As you can see for yourself now, Nancy is having trouble dealing with this. Do you think maybe you could talk to her? She isn't listening to anything I say and Hannah says that she hasn't had any luck either, but maybe you can get through to her."

"Sure thing Mr. Drew," Bess said, smiling, but with a hint of concern threaded into her voice. "I really hope I can help, this isn't- this isn't like her at all, I'll let you know if I can get through to her."

Carson nodded gravely as Bess went out to join his daughter.

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Bess Marvin cast a worried glance at her friend. Normally Nancy was so logical. She would accept reality and try to make reality better- she would make things come out alright in the end. But this was one thing she couldn't control, one thing she couldn't change. "That must be why she's having such a problem," Bess thought. "She can't change it, so she can't accept it for what it is."

"Listen, Nancy," Bess said aloud. "I know- I know you must be having a difficult time with this. But you've got to face it- Ned's gone. He's not coming back. I know you think that he's alive, but maybe your love for him is- clouding- your sense of reality. But Nan, he's dead. I know you loved him, but he loved you, too. He loved you so much that he would want you to move on with your life and be happy. I'm not saying you can't grieve for him, but you have to let him go. It's what he would've wanted."

"You've got to hear me out on this Bess," Nancy said shakily. "I know that everyone thinks he's dead and want me to accept it, too, but I can't. I know he's alive- we have some kind of- connection- in our hearts. A connection we've developed from being so far apart, but so close. And I still feel that connection to him. I know this sounds crazy, but I _know_ he's alive. And nothing anyone says is going to make me think otherwise. So please, Bess. You're one of my best friends. Can you just- help me, support me with this. You can believe want you want to believe, but please, don't try to convince me that he is gone. For my sake. For Ned's sake." Nancy's eyes were pleading with her, begging her.

"Okay," Bess conceded after a moment. "I'll do it, but only for you." But inside, the girl wondered just how good an idea that was.

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They would be holding a memorial service for him the next day. It had been a week since the news of her son's death and Edith Nickerson had cried the whole time. Her sister Mary had been the one to put the service together and that just made Edith feel worse. As if she couldn't pay Ned the respect to plan his service herself.

But at least she was accepting of it. Obviously, she was devastated at the news, but she could accept it and learn to live without him. She would never _ever_ get over it or forget him, but she could learn to live.

Not like Nancy. Nancy still insisted that he was alive, somewhere out there. The poor girl was simply in denial. When Edith had informed her of the service, Nancy's face had went slack, but she agreed to come, saying it was only out of her respect for those who really did believe he was dead.

Edith sighed aloud. She loved Nancy, but hearing her say that Ned was alive- it hurt. It hurt to see Nancy this way. It hurt to think that maybe this young girl had more faith in this boy that his own mother did. It just hurt. And even though she wanted so, _so _much to believe her son was alive, she didn't dare let herself.

Because she would only end up hurting herself all over again.

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The service was beautiful. Nancy had to admit that, though she still believed that Ned was completely and fully alive. But she was respectful. She didn't try to convince anyone that Ned was alive, against all odds, even though she so desperately wanted to. But, she figured, let them have her view and let her have hers.

Just because she didn't believe he was dead, however, didn't mean she didn't cry. She cried all the time. She cried herself to sleep, cried in the bath, cried when she read his letters, cried whenever she saw his picture, cried when she heard his name. Cried every time she thought of him.

And she always thought of him.

Ned's possessions had been returned to the Nickersons yesterday. James had come over and given Nancy a packet of letters that she had sent to him. She had leafed through them earlier and was now reading them thoroughly; she remembered how she was felt each time she wrote them, a memory that made her cry even more. Now she didn't even know whether she was crying for herself or for Ned. Whether she was crying that Ned was out there, somewhere, in danger, not knowing what was going to happen to him, or whether she was crying for herself, without him. She was so confused. It was as if her life was only a life when he was around. When he wasn't there, she was lost in thoughts of him.

Lost in thoughts.

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Far, far away, in a small, dark, building that the public was not aware about, a man was once again being tortured. Three days had not yet been up, but they had decided to question him again. The man was Ned Nickerson and not long after he had drifted back into unconsciousness, he had been rudely awakened by the Nazi soldier guarding the cells, telling him it was time to go visit Commander Fraug again. He had said it with a sneer that told Ned that this time would be worst than the first, if that was at all possible.

He was led down the cold, steel corridor for the second time, a feeling of dread in his stomach. When the soldier pushed him inside the doorway before leaving, closing the door after him, Ned tried not to stumble and show weakness to his captors, but he couldn't. He fell, catching himself on the edge of the table before meeting the Commander's eyes. "Sit down, boy," he ordered shortly, in German.

Ned did as he was told, once the words were translated for him, grateful that he wouldn't have to stand and be put up to more humiliation.

"Now, are you ready to answer my questions?" Fraug asked.

Ned shook his head vehemently.

Though not happy with this answer, Fraug attempted to keep his composure. "Listen, I know you're probably a perfectly good kid and you really don't want any more torture do you? Because, I swear, I will take away your food and water even longer this time. And I'm sure we can arrange another beating. So, I ask you again, will you answer my questions?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I cannot tell you anything. I would rather die that endanger the safety of my country." Ned's voice was steady and strong, not betraying the fear he felt.

"Stupid boy," Fraug spat out. "It's obvious you will be of no use to me, now or in the future. I might as well get rid of you." He barked an order to the two soldiers standing in the back of the room. The grabbed Ned by his arms and dragged him out of the room, halting when Fraug called one more time, "You going to answer me boy?"

"No."

The soldiers, hearing his answer, dragged him through a hallway Ned hadn't been in before and pushed open big, steel doors that were undoubtedly heavy. The sudden sunlight hurt Ned's eyes, though he was grateful for the fresh air.

One of the men said something in German, that Ned obviously couldn't distinguish, which the other man laughed heartily at. And that's when Ned knew.

He was going to find out his fate.

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A/N: I know I left you hanging, but I will try to update asap. Thanks to my AMAZING beta, ulstergirl!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! This is my treat to you all!


	7. Chapter 7

1942

chapter 7

A/N: So sorry for the delay. That long of one will never happen again. I hope.

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After his eyes had adjusted to the sudden sunlight, Ned took in his surroundings. Although he was outside, he was not completely exposed to the outside world. So making a run for it would be impossible. The exterior walls of the building, covered with something dark he could not yet make out, surrounded them on three sides and a tall metal fence completed the square.

As one of the Nazi soldiers led him over to a nearest wall, Ned felt a sickening pang in his stomach. That something dark on the walls was blood. Lots of blood.

He knew now what was going to happen to him.

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Carson Drew missed his daughter. He missed the way the corners of her mouth reached her eyes when he smiled. A smile rarely seen these days. He sighed as he put the framed photo of her on her graduation day back down on his desk. _If only there was a way_, he thought, _to make her smile again_.

But he knew there wasn't. He remembered when Elizabeth died. No matter how hard people tried, he didn't smile for what seemed like an eternity. Of course, he had plastered on a few fake smiles for Nancy's sake, but never a _genuine_ smile.

He expected Nancy's case would probably be the same, if not worse. For Carson had grown to see a piece of Elizabeth in Nancy. And that comforted him. But Nancy...

Nancy and Ned had never married. There was no piece of Ned in a child that Nancy could find some comfort in, or a reason to at least fake smiling. Carson and Elizabeth had almost ten years of marriage together, plus their beloved daughter. Nancy had memories of _dating_ Ned, an engagement not even punctuated by a ring, and a stack of yellowed, tear-stained letters.

Yes, Nancy's case would be much worse.

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Unaware of her father's troubled thoughts, Nancy was yet again at the Red Cross with Bess. Since Ned's- disappearance, less than a week ago, she had found herself spending more and more time there. Though not exactly comforted by the men there, she felt _something_ at the stories of soldiers who had been given up on, but then found.

On this particular day, she was talking to a man they called St. John. "Is that your real name?" Nancy ventured to ask him as she sat in a wooden chair at his bedside.

"My last name, ma'am. First name's Matthias. At my station in France, there were three of us Derricks. What're the chances of that, huh? Anyhow, so the boys took to calling us each by 'r last names an' it grew on me, sorta."

"If you don't mind my asking," Nancy began, "how did you hurt your legs?"

"Well me an' a group o' others, we were on a kinda secret mission when the helicopter we were all ridin' on got shot a'. Most o' us jumped out by 'r parachutes and when I landed, m'legs got caught up 'n something. You know the res' ma'am."

A helicopter accident? Stationed in France? No. It couldn't be. "Um, St. John?"

"Yes'm?"

"Did you, by any chance, know a man named Ned Nickerson?"

At this, St. John lowered his eyes. "Yes ma'am, I sure did. From what I heard, he- well, they say he didn' make it. D'you know 'im?"

"Yes," Nancy said softly. "He's my- sweetheart I guess you could say. We're to be married when he gets back."

"When," St. John repeated. "From the sounds o' it, you don' think he's dead, then?"

"No, St. John, I don't. Ned and I were very close. We have a sort of connection that I can still feel. I just _know_ he's not dead."

"Well then, ma'am, I'm inclined to agree with you. 'Fore I was rescued, I heard some o' them dirty Germans wanderin' 'round. Lucky they didn't find me, but if you still feel this- connection, you call it, then Ned mighta gotten out o' the chopper and been caught. You can see, the gov'rnment been quick to say people are dead. Look at all these other fellas in this here hospital. Jack, they said he was dead, 'n' here he is, breathin' sure as you and me. Don' give up hope ma'am. Ned, he's a fighter. If he's alive, he'll get his way back t'you."

And then, an almost genuine smile crossed Nancy's face. "Thank you, St. John."

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As the soldier pushed him against the bricks, Ned felt a pain sear through his back. _Oh well, _he thought, _nothing compared to what's about to happen next._ He distantly heard the two soldiers exchanging something in German, but didn't try to decipher it using their hand motions. As the one raised his gun with a grin, Ned closed his eyes, prepared for what would happen to him. _Nancy. I'm sorry_, he thought.

Bam!

Ned waited, but the pain never came. He slowly opened his eyes to see that a third soldier had joined them, speaking to the other two in rapid German. The sound had not come from the gun after all! _It must've been him throwing the door open_. _But what-_.

"You." One of the Nazis who was able to speak a little English interrupted his thoughts. "Fraug say you- go to- concentration camp. You will- not be killed," he added, a little wistfully.

Ned didn't know whether to leap for joy or weep. Sure, death was bad, but a concentration camp? _They just want to have me tortured more before I die_, Ned concluded. _But this is giving me more opportunity to get back to Nancy. And that's the most important thing._

As Ned thought, he didn't see the big van pull through a gate in the fence, it's rear facing him. A line of about five solemn faced men had joined Ned and the soldiers in the small area. With Ned watching, the Nazis roughly threw them into the back of the van.

"You now," the English-speaking-Nazi said to Ned, tightly grabbing his arm and pushing him into the van with the other men. Once all of his limbs were in the van, Ned scampered up against one side of the van and sank to the floor. The Nazi slammed the doors of the van and they were drowned in darkness.

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What seemed like days, but was probably hours later, Ned felt the van slow before it came to a stop. The long ride had been completely silent, save for the sound of the van driving over bumps and running over rocks and pebbles. There was nothing to say- every man seemed to know his fate and, at the moment, there was nothing they could do about it.

After a brief stop, the van continued its course, this time driving slowly. Ned had been able to hear two voices communicating in German from the outside of the van and knew what this must mean.

They had arrived.

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A/N: Sorry it's a little short, but it's something, right? Plus I really wanted to end the chapter with that sentence, as the story is entering a new phase with Ned's arrival to the concentration camp. A _very_ long phase.


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